Judgement Day

I have been thinking a LOT lately about 2 experiences I had about 2 weeks ago.  The first happened while I was attending a service at the temple.  (Think of it as a religious ceremony in a synagogue or cathedral)  As I went to sit next to my family there, I was stopped by a women who informed me that she was saving seats so her family could sit next to each other.  The result was that my family had to sit apart from each other.  Later in the ceremony we all moved around and again were informed that their family was saving seats, and again we all were forced to sit apart from each other.  To top it off we all had to wait several times for their family.  I was thoroughly annoyed and very put-off.  I could not help but think of how inconsiderate these people were, only focused on their wants at the expense of others.

The second experience occurred the next day while at church. There was a woman who was pregnant and she was taking her 7-year-old son out of the meeting.  She was yelling at him.  People were staring at her.  She was using her mom demon voice (we all have one) and yelled "I am so done with you, get in that room!"  She was trying to get him to go into a classroom that was down the hall from the Chapel where they had come out of.  He was crying quite heavily and wasn't moving.  She then grabbed him by the ear and shoved him into the room to which he fell flat on his face and began to sob.  I could tell that he was actually pretty hurt and she was irate.  Not knowing what to do I walked away.  She had actually hurt her son.  It was in front of other people.  I was afraid of her and also afraid for her son.

I remember being pregnant and feeling like crap some days.  I remember teaching 8th grade while being pregnant and feeling worse.  Now I am a mother of a baby.  I have felt frustrated.  What should I have done in the situation?  I was concerned for her child, but more afraid that by saying something I would cause a scene.

Going back to my temple story.  As I was sitting there I had a thought, I realized that the family was fumbling to put some of their ceremonial clothing.  It occurred to me that there were probably greater needs of this family.  They may not come often to the temple and this may have been a "big deal" that they were all there.  Sitting next to each other was just one way they were dealing with any intimidation.  If you hadn't gone to church in a while, you might want to sit next to your friends and family too.

Being a deeply religious person I stopped to think about Christ.  Though I am a Mormon and not a Baptist I had a TRUE WWJD moment.  Whether you believe in Christ or not, or whether He is important to you or not is really beside the point.  It is the principle.  In my situation how would Christ have felt, and what would He have done?  In the end, allowing myself to be put-off or annoyed by my experience really just hurt me.  The family that saved seats didn't know me and most likely never will.  I however needed to recognize that their needs were greater than mine, even if they weren't...and treat them as such.  Then I would have been much happier.

My second story is much like the first.  If that were to happen again, I think I might have humbly said,"I know what it is like to have rough days.  Can I help somehow?"  In that moment I would have come to her in a loving and non-threatening way.  Though the mom who hurt her son may be completely crazy, chances are she was just thoroughly tired and tired of her son.  It happens.

There have been moments were I have felt judged or compared.  I never really compare myself to others, BUT I do set unrealistic expectations for myself.  The mom world can be lonely and daunting.  It can be filled with frustrations and missed expectations.  From helicopter moms to fantasy moms- (moms reliving their lives through their children) most of the time there is a reason they are that way.  Just be glad it is not you and if it is you.... be honest and improve.  Some moms have easy babies and hard marriages.  Some moms have hard babies and fabulous marriages.  Some moms have mixed kids and no marriage.  Some moms have husbands who make good money but have deep wounds from their previous life experiences. Some moms have no money but an amazing family.  Some of us live in beautiful houses.  Some moms live in creaky, leaky old apartments.  Some moms had the house and dream job and lost it.  Some moms are still waiting for the house.  Some moms are still waiting to be called mom.  We all probably fit in there somewhere, and most of the time its a little bit of a lot of things.

To quote one of my favorite General Conference talks (Really big world-wide Mormon meeting):
"When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm - please apply the following: STOP IT!" Dieter F. Uchtdorf

We all fall in there somewhere.  Love your own kids, husband, job, and life.  Anything else.... just STOP IT.  We don't know what it is like.  My moto is: Forgive quickly and love deeply.

Blake laughing as his dad sings in a silly way (hence the shaking)

Happy after a long nap

Look forward to a spin on a classic cake that is one of Andrew's favorites.  He asks for it every birthday.  I call it super birthday cake because it is no where near better than......